I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
