Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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