508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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