dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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