I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
