its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
do herpes really smell.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
