fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize