I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
