I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize