just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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