had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize