You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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