I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
