i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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