His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
