she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
