And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
