there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
