Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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