GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
