Is it because I queefed?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
