So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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