OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
