So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
