in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Your cock deserves a montage
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize