I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
