Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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