WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
