Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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