I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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