what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
home. puking in laundry basket.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
