I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize