I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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