We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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