did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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