I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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