you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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