turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
