You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize