So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
