she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
