Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
