You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
