Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
