Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Please don't give away my fajitas
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
