Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
