idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
