She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
