shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
