Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Shame - the story of my life.
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