i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
