her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
