last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
