omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
