good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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