he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
don't judge my taste in strippers
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
