Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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