i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
