I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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