we have pet lesbian snakes
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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