You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
