What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
