just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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